A Pain in My Arse

R18 - fine to read if you can handle copious amounts of swearing, sex talk and other grubby stuff

In the interests of not having a fifth child, I got a jab in my gluteus maximus on Friday.

I'm talking about the Depo injection.

Now, I have sworn that I would never use this shit in a month of Sundays but I was at breaking point. Thursday morning saw Blair trying his hardest to slip another one past the goalie so I decided enough was enough. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Lucky for me there was a student nurse at the clinic who decided to look in on the jabbing. Good one! Haven't had enough degredation over the last couple of weeks. Truthfully though, lucky for me I was wearing me flash knickers.

So tomorrow I can have sexual encounters with not a care in the world.

So what is the issue??

Could be the fact that you are quite likely to gain a bit of weight on the injection. Actually, matter of fact, the food you eat as a result of the extra hormones in your body making you feel permanently premenstrual and just wanting to eat fish and chips, and burger king, and drink copious amounts of rum and coke, and eat chicken fillet burgers and chips the next day with chocolate milk, and pizza and glasses of chardonnay. Just something I heard happens, not saying that I know or anything!!

So THE INJECTION is the reason I have put on 1.2kg this fucken week putting me back into the fucken triple figures and officially making me want to lie on the floor crying and crapping my pants.

Boo fucken hoo.

Easter - Over and Out

I battled through Easter with a multitude of lapses in judgement and made my way through a fair bit of junk. Usually Easter not such an issue but the fact that we kicked it off on Good Friday with Phoebe's birthday party was the clincher. I have a terrible knack of being able to eat all the leftovers without even noticing. And of course, there were chocolate crackles galore and I love those coconut oil filled barstards!!

Anyway, we won't dwell on Easter. Phoebe had a lovely birthday party, highlighted by the absolutely wicked cake!! It was a great hit and I will upload a photo when I can. I took one on my phone and sent it to my email, but since I have changed to TelstraClear, I don't get my vodafone pxts!! So, have to wait for Dad to give me some photos on disc of the party.

On the Saturday night Phoebe woke at about 9.30pm and was grizzly and I rubbed her back and she had a raised rash. I got her up and examined her body and she was literally covered in a pimply rash. Rang the local doctor's surgery and got diverted through to an afterhours line where the have the on call dr's details etc, all run by nurses who talk you through it all. Was stoked that I didn't have to travel into Christchurch to the After hours. Back to the story.... she said that things sounded alright and to monitor her through the night and make an appt in the morning at the on call dr. So I did this (consisting of hourly checks, exhausted Sunday!) and she was fine. So I took her to the doc and showed him the rash and explained that for the last couple of weeks she has had a really sore tummy intermittently and that she then has bulky offensive smelling No 2's. He took one look at the rash and said it wasn't measles, wasn't meningitis, wasn't hand foot and mouth but he had a strong suspicion that it was a coeliac rash. WTF!!! So this morning I have to take Phoebe off to have blood tests to test for gluten allergy. Not looking forward to it.

When looking up the whole deal online I found a lot of symptoms that actually described Blair!! There is a gluten specialist here in Christchurch called Rodney Ford and he has written a number of books including one called "Sick, Tired and Grumpy. I told Blair that he is just that!!

The change in our house will be huge if it is what she has as the whole house will become gluten free. If she has it then the other kids have a huge likelihood of having it, or at least gluten sensitivity. Here's hoping it's not but if it is, I will embrace it and see it as a positive thing in our lives to go gluten free.