Showing posts with label poos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poos. Show all posts

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Brighter

Well, bubble wrap aside, I still lost 400g this week!

How do I manage to do this??

Who knows??

I did have a couple of 1 hour walks.

I think I'm nearly over the hump.

I'm ordering some Ultimate Cleanse and going to kick start it all next week. I need a new focus and have been wanting to detox and liver cleanse for ages so I decided to follow Lyn's lead and give it a flurry!!

What I won't be doing is taking photos of the excrement that is released from my bowel during this cleanse. While searching for the stuff I found an American site which promoted some cleanse by Blessed Herbs and all these people had sent in photos of their gross expelled shit.

Now we are not just talking your run of the mill poop.

We're talking ugly, been stuck to your intestinal walls for a good 15 years crap! Foul. What's unbelievable is the photos of all Amercan women standing there with a stick or some other object holding up their half metre long excrement tubes and smiling all american smiles with it. What the fuck is going on in their heads?

Hey Blair, I've just done the most foul looking, god only knows how foul smelling, shit in the universe. Would you be a hun and pop in with the camera and grap a snap??

Too much spare time on your hands if you're photographing your turds.

Monday, July 09, 2007

The Neverending Wipe

Caution: Poos and Sex talk ahead

Have you ever got the kids off to bed, done the dishes, the house is in order, the fire is on and it's below zero outside.

Your man is showing friskiness alert signals.

You're up for it.

All you need is a shower and it will be all systems go.

Then the urge to pass a bowel motion hits.

No worries, off to the toilet you go, this is pre-shower so you're all good.

Said bowel motion done, time to wipe.

And wipe.....

and wipe.....

and wipe again....

is this shit ever going to be gone???

A mental image of your impending romp flashes into your head.

Oh baby, oh baby, grope grope grope .... awkward silence ....

"is that shit??"

.................................

Needless to say I didn't have sex last night due to horror at thought of above scenario!!