Thursday, September 27, 2007

Final Post

Hi all

Final post on Four Kids and a Fiance.

It's been fun but we are moving on up to bigger and better things. Will post link to new blog next week.

Things have been fucken frantic but mate, I'm looking the hottest I possible can.

Have had acrylic french nails put on, never done that before and I am feeling like a porn queen!! Blair hearts them!!

Had a bikini wax for the first time ever. Usually I just let it grow wild and free. Not as painful as I expected.

Had eyelashes permed, tinted, eyebrows tinted waxed, a pedicure and french polish and baby, I love the attention. I'm nicely tanned thanks to those terrible sunbeds and I am all ready to become a wife.

Have been crazy hectic, am about to head off into another day of crazy hectic.

Can't stay and chat.

Love you all, thanks for the help and advice.

See ya next week, I'm off to get hitched in the Alps!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Friday, September 21, 2007

Drumroll Please ....

And the winner is .....


I have come up with the best blog name, which shall be revealed once I become a MISSUS!!

I came up with it about 2 mins after I posted the Name It post and then felt too bad to not let you all continue.

Have to say I loved Middle Child's "Legit at Last" and loved all of Beck's especially the one about the party in my pants and "My Life Went Where?".

So, out of fairness to Becks and all her extraordinary ideas I have decided she is the substitue winner.

So she gets the book so any Aussie birds in the region of Miss Beck, you can call on her for all the great natural advice.

The Shoes

I better show the shoes I suppose:


Mother had bought them last year to wear to opening of Kids Xpress in Sydney (my Aunty's brain child for sick and traumatised kidlets) but she never did.

Feet fit them. Still look a bit like an elephant in ballet shoes but all is good.

I am at peace.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

What Up

I know, not terribly PC but fuck it's funny.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Is That You Bridezilla??

Have had a wee few things go crazily wrong.

Made my own invites and sent out ages ago. They were on a white linen look card with lavender watermark (my theme) in the background and a wee bit of the sage/avocado green of the bridesmaids dresses thrown in for good measure. Loved them.

Problem: if you are going to make lavender your theme it would be a good idea to do it in lavender fucken season.

I can't for the friggin life of my find any dried lavender in the quality that I need, anywhere. Have been to a number of lavender farms but can't find anything. Actually, one woman had heaps of the perfect bunches but "they weren't for sale".

I was having those little stand up bunches of lavender in a cylinder vase with a bit of river sand at the bottom for my centrepieces on the white tables with river stones scattered around with little tealights strategically placed in between.

Now I have the one and only option of going and seeing some artificial lavender or changing my centrepieces all together!!

Flowers: have found the perfect photo of calla lilies in a beautiful lilac which matches the colour theme to a tee.

Problem: Guy at flower place told me you could get them and to ring two weeks before to check.
Did that. No, you can't get them said the rude, unhelpful serving wench.
Rang again the next day, Yes, I'll try and get them said the lovely helpful man.
Hadn't heard anything so rang yesterday, won't be able to know until Friday, said man.

Problem: when this problem first reared it's ugly head I went into tailspin, straight off first day of detox and into the comforting arms of a moro bar.

Was just going to shut up the dog in her run over night while we were at wedding, with neighbours to check on her.

Problem: she caught a couple of bees last Thursday and swelled up like the elephant dog. Can't in good character leave the nutter at home with the swarm of bees out the back. So phoned yesterday to get her booked into a kennel and then, going through the processes, found out that she had last vaccination 14 months ago so would need another one at least 10 days before she goes in. Not fucken possible as I have NO money until next week and that only gives her three days. Hoping a friend up country will look after her for the weekend, only a 3 hour return trip to drop her off!! FFS!!

I have a beautiful dress

Problem, I am a tattooed up skank and don't have enought spare funds to purchase the derma colour makeup that hides scars and tattoos. I also have a big scar on right shoulder where the windshield wiper dug in when I got run over and went over the bonnet and through the windscreen of my old english HOD's VW. (whole nutha story peeps). Blair says don't worry about it, all part of you so I don't care. I get that but I still would love to not have the world's biggest black pegasus not flapping it's wings from my back above the lovely lace up back of my primo fucken dress.

Problem, I am puffing up like a puffer fish. Arse bum shit.

Friday, September 14, 2007

The Hens Night

Two weeks late but was waiting on photos. Have yet to get any of end of the night, sister was great at organising event but not so great at sending out the photos.

Started night with my wedding makeup trial. Worked out great and, although more makeup than I'm used to, I received many a great comment and I decided that I was looking pretty a ok!!

Went to Ann's Thai Restaurant in Christchurch and had a fab dinner with much hilarity. There were 18 of us and everyone introduced themselves and how they had met me. Had everyone from the girl who ditched me on the first day at my last high school to the midwife who delivered all four of my kids and everyone in between.

My sister went above and beyond the call of duty and made me up a Journey with Jules which was a book with photos and all sorts about me. There was a page with an pocket on it with blank coloured bits of card and everyone was asked to write some advice for marriage on it. Was a great laugh the next day.

Went on to guess answers to questions about myself that Blair had answered earlier. Including "what is your favourite sexual position?" and Blair had answered "on top (riding)". He was so wrong - woof woof.

We then left the restaurant, duely pissed and headed back to my sister's place for a Singstar Extravaganza and vodka soaked jetplanes. Was hilarious and had a fucken blast.

Here's a couple of restaurant shots and I will post some singing ones later, when I get them aye Kez.

Monday, September 10, 2007


I know, I know it's been 10 days since I last confessed.

I don't know if I have the energy to do this one either but I'll do the best I can and then jump ship.

I had my Hen's night on the 31st August.
Absolute blast.
Had a ball.
Great group of friends but I will elaborate with a whole separate post once I receive some photos.

Last couple of weeks have been struggling financially. Really hard to go from weekly pays to fortnightly with no hiatus inbetween. Last week was an "off" week and let's just say that bread and butter was about the extent of the menu. Ever tried shopping for a family of six with three packs of nappies, dog food, cat food and formula taking up near a third of your hundred dollar budget for the week??

Some of you probably have so know exactly my headspace last week.

Friday, got a dose of some bloody tummy bug which started with loose bowel motions and a nauseous feeling and progressed to farting and burping like I had partaken in the most glorious hot indian curry.

Problem being ... I hadn't.

Then yesterday the "piss like a bull out my ringpiece shits" started and have been going ever since.

All night.

So, energy is at an alltime low and I was going to start the detox today. But I can't even eat fruit or veges so I hope to start tomorrow.

Am a bit worried that I may be leaving it a bit late pre wedding to detox. I know that side effects can be massive breakouts as the shit comes out of your body so I would be really scared to look like a pizza on my wedding day.

Bought the wedding rings yesterday. Blair loves his, me ho hum. I went with gold (engagement is white gold) and just plain but my heart really wanted a lovely celtic band. Compromise is a bitch!!

Have been pretty stagnant on weight. Was 101.2kg on Thursday but weighed myself just then and was 99.6kg. But we all know that is all the bum pissing I have been doing!

At the end of the day I will look beautiful and will just have to suck it up and deal with the fact that I ain't going to look like Kate Beckinsale on my wedding day, more like Queen Latifah but damn, that girl is looking fine lately so I can handle that!!

My headspace has been all over the place with financial stress, mothering stress (7 year old boy free to good home, needs watering and plenty of exercise!), wedding stress, weight stress, and it has all resulted in my house looking like a fucken hovel.

It has always been the way in my life, if my head is muddled and chaotic then so is my house. That was okay when it was just me but now that there are four kids and a fiance depending on me it makes it bloody hard for harmonious living to have shit everywhere. I mean everywhere. Don't believe me??

Okay, so photos are shit but you can get the jist of it. Nothing looks ordered and neat.

I have never been fond of house work and get by on the essentials but I just want to spring clean the house but never seem to have the energy to start. And to make the matter worse there are fucken rodents in the linen cupboard. I can guarantee there is a whitetail spider or two in there as well. Fuckers.

So that's it. Over and out, the toilet beckons.