Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I can see clearly now the rain has gone ....

I am back!

I feel really good, have been on citalopram now for a week and I have noticed that my happiness has returned. My sense of humour has returned and my love of life has returned. The suicidal thoughts have gone and life is feeling great. Amazing how quickly it has worked. I don't recall it working so quickly the first time I was put on it four years ago. The biggest thing I have noticed is my own self image. It has improved heaps in a week. What I see in the mirror is different than a week ago and I feel attractive even!! Other than when I had the legs in stirrups at the gynae yesterday when he checked out the pelvic floor muscles, or lack thereof!! I have to go for bladder tests to make sure I have an okay bladder and then will go on the public health waiting list to have a pelvic floor repair and, if they are able to do bladder, they will zip in and tie tubes at the same time!! That would be a blessing in disguise.

I am having a shit of a time trying to wean Sian off the breast and onto the bottle. I have been told that the effects of the citalopram is not really well researched in breastfeeding and that the blood pressure meds that I am on need to be changed so I have no options left for breastfeeding. Sian has had four months of solely breast milk but I still feel quite guilty and the wee darling is performing a treat when we try and give her the bottle. My doctor has told me that I need to do it though to get myself back and that is more important for Sian than the benefits of the breast. Any tips on getting the bub to take the bottle??

I am really thankful for all you guys support and the fact that a few of you lurkers have come out of the woodwork and emailed me or posted a comment is really nice. Makes me sort of feel like I have guardian angels around at all times. This is really the most supportive group of people and it blows me away.

I am back!!

10 comments:

Chris H said...

Oh Jules, I am so relieved to hear you are on the mend....
Now, getting Sian off the breast.... simply don't feed her from the breast when she wakes up, don't you go near her, in fact hide, get someone else to pick her up and offer her the bottle, if she refuses it, ok, she starves till she does take it. Don't go near her or she will want your boob.... she won't starve for long let me assure you... when there is no boob on offer AT ALL, she will end up taking the bottle. It may sound bloody mean, but it will work. If you keep giving in and offering the breast she will never take the bottle. Another good one I just thought of... smear vegemite on your nipple and offer her the breast... she won't like it! lol (then again, she's your kid, maybe she will !) Have a wonderful day.

Kate said...

I'm so so glad that you are feeling better and you are safe again, and yay that life feels good!

Sandra said...

Welcome back!
I'm so pleased you're felling better. They worked quickly for Dan too.

Rachel said...

You sound amazing, I am really happy that you feel like your old self again.

I couldn't breastfeed and both my boys didn't have any issues with taking the bottle.
Maybe try expressing for a day or two and then introducing a formula every second bottle????

Lynda said...

So glad you are feeling better. About bubs and the bottle - I had the same thing. My Joanna would not ever take a bottle. I finally had to go cold turkey and say no more breast. I'd spoon feed her milk and water to stop the dehydration and then finally she decided that bottle wasn't so bad after all!

Editha said...

Jules, I'm so glad you are feeling happy and at peace. Always remember you are not alone. You do have Guardian Angels, they are called your FRIENDS. I send you and your family many blessings.

Jadey 0:-) said...

I am so happy to see this post hun! Looks like you are finally back in a good place. After an op you will be a new woman by the sounds of it.

Sarah said...

I am so pleased to hear that the medication is working for you already, thats a great start!!
Good luck with weaning your wee one, it sounds like your doctor knows waht he is talking about!!

Mellisa said...

Great to see your back!! I agree with Chris...she won't starve, she will give in to the bottle sooner or later.
For the boobies ... I went on a tablet to dry up my milk. I hear cabbage leaves can soothe the pain until it sorts itself out.

Mellisa

Tania said...

So glad to hear that you're doing better Jules! Can't really help in regards to the breastfeeding, my milk was drying up when my baby was just over 5 weeks old so I also had to put him on the bottle a lot earlier than I wanted to. I heard somewhere that Avent teats were one of the best, and Lachlan took them without any problems.