Monday, July 16, 2007

Is That An IUD Sticking Out Your Cervix Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

Wednesday arvo and I was sitting on the loo (as you do) and I randomly thought, better check the IUD strings are in the right place. Having had one get past the backstop with my last pregnancy I am religious in checking every month, although last month I didn't have to as the gynae did it for me.

So I had a bit of a feel around and then I thought I felt something hard. WTF?? Something hard and plastic feeling. Shit mother fucker ho bag!!

I phone doctor, I see doctor next morning, doctor confirms I
a) have an IUD hanging out me cervix
and
b) have a mild case of thrush coming on!! (Shame!!)

So apparently I am not SAFE, and the past seven days have not been SAFE either!! When an IUD comes out the sperm can still be living up there happy as larry for seven days still ready to impregnate poor innocent angelic wee eggs!!

Have had a serum pregnancy blood test today and let's all cross everything that can be crossed to make sure this bride to be is not pregnant!! I get my tubes tied in about 3.5 months, I DON'T NEED ANYMORE KIDS!!

So my doc reckons I should come back for a new IUD next week but I have decided fuck that. It is just too risky thinking that you're safe and all the time your overworked loose vadge isn't strong enough to hold in an IUD!!

23 comments:

Kitty said...

You are so SO funny. I've crossed my legs for you...here's hoping.

Tania said...

Oh you poor thing! I could just imagine how thrilled you were to hear that. Fingers crossed! I'd be getting rid of the IUD once and for all too!

airlie said...

yeah i am laughing my little butt off too ( well, not so little actually!) You crack me up and I am so glad that I found you again!

Wanna_B_slim said...

Ouch that could have done some serious damage to your mans tackle.... damn....
Good idea to get rid of it...
Have a top week... and get out those rubbers... hahaha ;o)

Sharnee said...

Hi, I came here via Steph's blog.... and I just have to say you're hilarious!! Hope the cervical things work out for the best!

Christine said...

IIRRRRKS. I can only imagine. Here's to hoping! Toes are crossed for you.

Chris H said...

Worse things can happen mate.. if your are preggers it was meant to be! Hope they can bring forward your sterilisation, sounds like you are a frisky couple... and obviously fertile as! I got No#2 baby with an IUD in place!

Lynda said...

Oh you poor thing! Isn't fertility a bloody nuisance sometimes. I sure hope you are not pregnant...again...

You could try my method of birth control but I don't recommend it... I have no sex drive. Age? not sure but I wish I could be more like you and actually want sex again.

Rachel said...

Bloody norra, that's all you'd need!!!

I've got everything crossed that your preggie test comes back NEGATIVE.

Anne said...

Fingers crossed the test is negative!! Five kids and a fiancee????

Lyn said...

Ohhh I sooooo know the feeling of waiting for pregnancy test ... I just need to smell sperm (ewww) and i get preggers!! I too have legs crossed for ya!!

Chubbymum said...

That is too bloody scary OMG

Chubbymum

Mellisa said...

No sex is safe sex ..... That is my protection .... lol!!
Oh and living with parents!! That will do it everytime!! lol
Good luck with the preg test!!

Name: Lynise said...

Hi ya,
I've never tried IUD (strictly a depo girl) but have heard a lot of similar stories about them coming out or people getting pregnant while they had one, so I've never thought they seemed like the best option.

Miss Smack said...

haaaaaaaaahahahahah HiLARIOUS!

rand(om) bites said...

Oh yeah baby, just happy to see you! Damn contraception.

hawkeye23 said...

Bloke walked in as I was literally laughing out loud at this post. How do you explain to a blokey bloke what an IUD is? I tried googling it, but I couldn't find one in diagram form. He eventually filed it all under "Too much information".

You probably don't want to hear this, but I've heard of babies being born clutching an IUD in one hand.

Legs crossed for negative.

LaLa said...

:-O

Fuuuuck that shit.

Mama en Fuego said...

Urgh IUD's I just can't brig myself to do that, I'll stick with the pill, though I was on the pill when I got knocked up so either way I'm fucked...litterally.

Here's hoping his swimmers got lost on the egg hunt.

Lyn said...

Re: your comment ... right on!!! That's exactly it for Bill!

Arron's Kiwi Girl said...

You nearly made me spill my coffee from laughing at "overworked vadge"

*giggle*

Sandra said...

Jules - you are hardcore.

And obviously getting way too much sex.

I showed my partner the picture of the one I had inserted and he kept calling it an anchor after that...

Sandra
www.livejournal.com/users/kiwirevo

Anonymous said...

Well that is funny... Not really cause the same thing is happening to me right now. Im just waiting on the PT now. good luck( I think they should advertise it as 99.9% not effective)