Thursday, June 07, 2007

Let the Dramas Begin ....

As the title suggests I am putting up with dram-o-rama at the moment.

When did we set the date, a week ago??

Already the bullshit that seems to follow weddings around is rearing it's ugly head.

Mum had told me, when we dicussing this wedding thing at their property a couple of weeks ago, that she envisaged only around 40 people, immediate family and close friends - and I agreed. Blair and I are paying for the wedding, it is just at their house. Anyway, I find out from my sister over the weekend that Mum is up in arms about the fact that none of her brothers and sisters will be invited. And she has phoned Dad and now he is all shitty too that his family won't be invited.

Now I am confused!! I never said I didn't want the extended family there, I just agreed with Mum that is should be kept small. Mum then rings me yesterday and suggests that her and Dad have had an argument due to the fact that I won't invite any aunty's and uncles. I give up!! I said that I had no issue with them being there but because Blair and I were paying for it all that my friends were going to placed before some random uncle that I see once every 5 years at a funeral. Mum has three brothers and four sisters (one passed but her husband would still be included) so that is 14 extras already and then Dad has four so that is another 8!! If we have all our immediate family including our four kids then we have 20 people so that, combined with Mum and Dad's families comes to over 40 people. We wouldn't have one friend there.

I pointed out to Mum how important friends are to me and that by the time you reach 31 and 33 (me and Blair) that the friends you have are your friends for pretty much life and not just all the people you hang out with on the turps with at the pub!! She stated that family should always come before friends.

I give up!! For Fuck's Sake, I have four kids, I just want to get married to the man I love with my family and friends around to share the day.

On a different note, I have spontaneously bought a dress off trademe. What was I thinking, I haven't even seen it!! This is it but it is in white, size 16 but can be adjusted up or down 2 sizes.

By the way, have lost another 600g this week and am now 1kg away from hitting the elusive 90's. Whoop de loop mo fo's!!


Jo said...

Firstly, WOW that dress is gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Secondly, I know exactly what you mean about 'invite' dramas - we are having a similar problem, except that our parents are paying for a good deal of the wedding (v.lucky, i know!) and they seem to think that this entitles them to invite the everyone they have ever spoken to, as well as the freekin' next door neighbour (slight exageration, but only slight!).

Ahhh weddings. Gotta love em!

Congrats on the weight loss - you will be a 90s girl before you know it.


ombites (mary) said...

Love the dress Jules! It's so slinky too and well done with your weight loss of late, you are on fire. Shame about the family stuff. I can't offer any advice, I have similar problems and then refuse to do anything. Do what feels right for YOU :-)


Anne said...

The dress is gorgeous!!

Weddings - so hard!! Sorry (don't tell you mum) but I don't agree with about families. While I can understand she will want them there - you want a small wedding. You can't have it small if all the rellies get asked. Friends are more important than all the aunts and uncles. Could you look at just the local aunts and uncles, very close friends only which could cut numbers down. GOOD LUCK!!

Mellisa said...

Have already said it but .... I love that dress!!
As for the 'white' thing .... ah fuck it you could at least act pure on the day!! lol .....

Stuff the family, stand your ground ..... they would only be there to grab a free feed and a drink..... invite more friends!!

What time should I be there again??

Lee-Anne said...

Wow, you're going great guns on the weightloss. Keep it up. That dress of yours is absolutely gorgeous.

We finally got around to doing our guest list last night too. We both come from large families - I have 5 siblings, so does Col, we have 6 children. Then there's partners and parents. That's enough on the family side. The rest is got to be friends. It gets too ridiculous otherwise. Stick to your guns.

I'll tell you one thing tho that no matter what the stress is like - it all comes together on the day.

Wanna_B_slim said...

Hmmm I hated the family crap with getting married... All i wanted to do was get drunk and eat the gorgeous meal... and get it over with...
This time... shhhh dont tell Mark..if I decide that I will actually get married again... it will be a BBQ in the back yard with all our drinkin buddies... and possibly the parents... OR... elope and get drunk... and if I decide to not ever get married... I will still have a BBQ and get drunk with our friends to celebrate the fact we are not going to get married.....either way.. getting drunk sounds like a good idea... might have to set a date myself.. hahaha

Wanna_B_slim said...

oh and I love the dress... and well done on another loss.. you are flying...
Makes a huge difference when you work out food issues hey!

Chris H said...

The dress is bloody gorgeous!! I really really love it! Secondly, if there are too many people coming to fit into the budget, ask them all to bring a plate and their own grog... then all can come! WE did that, and had a blast... and no one was left out or got shitty. If you wanna come, bring ya own food .... worked for us.

Chris H said...

And... I wish I had worn white and a proper wedding dress when I married Stew... I thought I was too bloody fat for a wedding dress.... fuck I'm bigger now and think I look fine!

Christine said...

Ohh the dress is a real beauty! WOwow. Love it. I just planned my wedding 1 year ago and the bullshit that I went thru was just the same as you described. If you are paying for things - then you set the rules. :) Weddings are so expensive these days, you have to do whats best for you and have the people there that make you happy. Good luck with things.

Jenniy said...

That dress is so beautiful!!

Weddings make everyone crazy. I'm so lucky that my parents or in laws never complained about anything we wanted. Of course, since my parents paid for the wedding, I let them invite anyone they wanted!

m said...

I love that dress! You have great taste.

Honestly, friends are more important than relatives are any day of the week. Since your paying for it it's your choice. They are just going to give you hell b/c it's on their property. Why not tell them "you pay for your guests and we'll pay for ours"

That's my only suggestion

Name: Lynise said...

Oh no, It seems there is nothing like a wedding to bring out the best, and unfortunately the worst in people.
I don't know if I have blogged about this, but Warren has an older daughter and last year she was due to get married. The day she phoned to tell us of her engagement was the day the crap starting flying. (not our end) apprantely after announcing the news to her mother, the response was, 'if her father and that whore are coming then I won't be there'.
Warren and I were told she planned to cause a BIG scene if we (especially me) showed up. (for goodness sake, anyone would have thought I had run off with them while they were still married).
At the end of the day this wedding is about you and Blair, I know thats so cliche but it REALLY is and if others can't accept your plans, then then I'm afraid it does boil down to being their problem. You guys are paying for it so choose who is important to you to share such a special day.
I hope everyone stops this nonsence as its just not fair that you should even hear crap like this during such a happy time.
I said to Warren that I feel sick that his daughter will look back in years to come, and her wedding will be clouded with memories of all the threats, hostility, and abuse her mother chose to regeretate (sp) up.

Lyn said...

I just finished watching Bridezillas on tv, that combined with your dramas already ... woahhhh, stressful stuff!! :) I made the mistake of saying to Bill the other day that "I wasn't like that was I?" "hell yeah!!!" came his reply ... bastard, damn it, i so wasn't a bitch!!! take that back or I'll slap you!!! .. lol juuuust kidding! :p

Beautiful dress!!!! absolutely beautiful!!! And congrats on a another loss chickey!!!

Lyn said...

ohhh and very funny comment bout the water thing ... especially as I usually mix my water with a bit of mizone but shhhhh don't tell anyone ... especially ww!!

Yummy Mummy said...

Nice dress.... very nice...

your wedding babe... your choice!!

Sarah said...

ohh that dress is gorgeous!@

as for all the shit about family and weddings, just stick to your guns chicky - it is your wedding day!! Ohh how exciting!

OH AND YAYAYYAY with the weightloss - you are doing fantastically!

Steph said...

What M said. If your parents want to invite extra's, get them to pay for it. They'll soon change their tune.

That dress is SMOKIN hot!

Tania said...

Firstly congrats on the loss - double digits here you come! You go girl, love the dress too.

As to the wedding - I have one bit of advice for you, stand your ground, this is YOUR day, and the last thing you want is to either have regrets about cutbacks you had to make to suit other people, it just isn't fair. Perhaps make the suggestion that you work out what the costs will be per head and allow your parents to pay that to invite extra guests if it's just money that bothers you.

We went through so many of these battles when we got married, in the end we had a rule - if we didn't see them in the last 3 months they weren't invited, it was as simple as that. Sure some people were offended but they got over it and we ended up with 60 guests which meant we got to spend more time with everyone.

I couldn't agree with you more about the importance of friends as you get older. Family matters yes, but that family is your own family, not like you said the uncles and aunts you only see once every 5 years.

I hope that you can sort out these issues really soon.

Whoever I want to be said...

Wedding GGGRRRR glad I am never going to have another one, the dramas are horrible - stay strong with your decisions, it is your day!!!!!!!!

Dress is gorgeous.... and you are doing fantastic with your weight loss.


Mae said...

OMG, Jules, congrats! I'm thrilled for you, and that dress is absolutely gorgeous! You will be a stunning bride! I can't wait to see pics!!!