Thursday, June 28, 2007

Flirtatious Flop

Blair and I have a routine every morning, the alarm goes off around 6am and we stumble out of bed and he gets ready for work while I make his lunch, get his coffee and warm the house for the day.

Yesterday was like any other morning aside from the fact that I felt sexy. It has been a while since I have felt this sort of urge in the morning and I caught my own reflection in the window. My white short sleeve pj top was tight around my over ample breasts and for once they looked pretty pert.

I instantly got the flirt instinct.

Blair was busying himself around in the hallway and I expected him in the kitchen any minute. I sucked the ab in, put the shoulders back, had another check in the window and thought, he's gonna want to take me!!

Blair walked in, picked up his coffee, walked into the dining room and sat down to drink it. Damn, that didn't work.

In a couple of minutes I knew he'd be back in so I had to amp it up a bit. I went to the fridge and stuck the norks in as far as they could go, trying to stiffen the nipples so that they would attract him like a rabbit in headlights. I glanced down, not as effective as I had hoped, gave them a quick tweak, that worked.

Heard Blair approach the kitchen again, once again sucked in the ab and then had the brain wave to pretend I was putting my hair in a ponytail so that it lifted the girls into full view. By this time I was like a cat on hot bricks, hoping for even a wee bit of attention before my strong builder man left for work.

He walked towards me with a loving look and I thought "Come to Mama!"

He kissed me, said he loved me and off he went out the door.

What the fuck??

Do I need to stand nude with my arse in the air to attract my husband to be??

Any tips on surefire flirting tactics??

NB:**** From now on I will be leaving replies to your comments on the same comments page as you leave the comment on, so if you are looking for an answer check back later for it. I have seen this done on other blogs and it works quite effectively as you don't have to be bloghopping to give someone a reply.


Sarah said...

RELEASE THE HOUNDS!! if you cant release them here....

Perhaps Blair just wasnt expecting any action this morning, so didnt think to look for it!

ombites (mary) said...

LOL that same scenario has definitely happened to me! It's funny when it's on the other foot too :-)

I never check back on comments...not enough time in the day! If someone's email doesn't show up, I unfortunately don't have time to chase it up.

Mellisa said...

If you act like you don't want it .... I bet he will try his best!! .... works for me .... the less I want it the more he does!! lol

FHZ said...

Well! who knows, he might not wanna get late for work... :-)

Mellisa's trick works... *sign


Arron's Kiwi Girl said...

Jules..... what about actually verbalising it???

Saying, oi, Blair - get ya kit off love, I'm horny and I want a piece o' ya?

Wanna_B_slim said...

I agree with Arrons girl... now come on you are dealing with the male species.. they just dont get hints... ya gotta just about grab em by the balls and start before they get the idea.... well some of them anyway... haha..

Chris H said...

Men are DENSE as mate, you have to be totally blatant and stand there naked for sure!! I always say to Stew, come on darling, I need a bit of ya! He never needs a second offer!

Karen and Rachel said...

If he is anything like Stephan - he needs to be told in black and white!!!

Jules said...

Sarah, I don't think he saw the forest for the trees!!

Mary, Blair is always VERY blatant when he wants it, maybe I just need to get blatant??

Mellisa, what are you doing here, thought the talk of a mechanical object that gets you off scared you away?? LOL!!

FHZ, he usually gives me a grope or two if he's in the mood, I think he was just blind to my intentions.

AKG, I was horny, I would have loved a bit of action but really, I knew time was not on our side and I just wanted a grope or two. Bloody men.

Wanna, I think I need to actually position his member in the love tunnel for him to get it!!

Chris, I wish Blair was so obliging, sometimes I think he lacks a bit of sex drive.

Karen, black and white it is!

Wanna_B_slim said...

Ha ha ha... poor Jules...
Oh and yes I am the bargain hunter queen... Unfortunately I have to be..I am poor.. but I survive.. got a cool jacket the other day at the op shop while looking for my princess fiona dress... 3 buck it was and it was chocolate brown and jeans west... woooohooooo was very impressed.. even more so cos it was a size M and it fit... Im not shy..i will wear second hand gear... i always wash it.. and anyways if i bought it new and wore it.. the next time it would be second hand anyways.. so whats the diff if someone else got to wear it first!! haha

Jenniy said...

lol I get up at 4:00 to walk the dog, eat breakfast, make lunch, get ready and am out the door by 6:00. Scott doesn't get up until 5 minutes before his first conference call, usually around 9:00. It's probably for the best because I'm in too much of a hurry to ever be in the mood in the morning.

However, the times that I have made little hints without being so blunt, and he hasn't gotten them it's annoying.

m said...

I'm married to a 40 year old with the sex drive of an 18 year old. You gotta get them while they are still in bed though. If I started something while he was on the way out the door he would of said "wait" and then it would of been an hour or so night sex session. I just don't have time for that.

Thanks for the dog stuff!!!

Hilly said...

Oh men are thick, to be sure. It's either that he didn't get it or just did not expect it. I know that my husband has said that he doesn't expect it anymore (*snort*) so he doesn't look for signs.

Tania said...

Lol ... typical male! I agree with Mellisa, act like you're not interested in the slightest and you'll never be able to keep him away. But seriously, you'd think he'd jump at the opportunity, I mean they spend so much time complaining that they don't get enough. Better luck next time!

Whoever I want to be said...

Love your last couple of posts - cracked me up. Have a great weekend Jaxx :)

Lyn said...

Pfffft ... men!!! Typical! lol

Christine said...

Oh geez. I can picture you shoving your chest into the fridge trying to catch a breeze - good for you - he'll catch on soon I am sure!!! Take care.

Steph said...

saying, "How about a fuck?" should work :P

Steph's diet story!! said...

Typical men!!

Jules said...

Wanna, I am only buying secondhand at the mo, have had enough of paying out for stuff and then either gaining or losing weight. I'm saving a big spend up on new things for the 60's!

Jenniy, I think it's the little rejected feeling that pissed me off, not actually the lack of fun times!!

M, I would love it if Blair still had the sex drive he had when we first got together, mine seems to be a hundred times his at times. Hope it helps, the dog stuff that is!

Hilly, he just didn't see the signs, I have since mentioned it and he had no idea. Bloody moron.

Tania, funny, after babies, when you're not allowed to bonk, he is always wanting it. Maybe that's the key, tell him it's off limits.

Jaxx, thanks mate, I've enjoyed writing with few constrictions.

Lyn, Men, we both know mate!!

Christine, it was hilarious, even at the time I was thinking, WTF are you doing Jules!!

Steph, it wasn't even that I wanted the actual fuck, just wanted a bit of a grope. LOL!!

Steph's DS, I'm hearing ya.