Thursday, August 02, 2007

A Pain in My Arse

R18 - fine to read if you can handle copious amounts of swearing, sex talk and other grubby stuff

In the interests of not having a fifth child, I got a jab in my gluteus maximus on Friday.

I'm talking about the Depo injection.

Now, I have sworn that I would never use this shit in a month of Sundays but I was at breaking point. Thursday morning saw Blair trying his hardest to slip another one past the goalie so I decided enough was enough. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Lucky for me there was a student nurse at the clinic who decided to look in on the jabbing. Good one! Haven't had enough degredation over the last couple of weeks. Truthfully though, lucky for me I was wearing me flash knickers.

So tomorrow I can have sexual encounters with not a care in the world.

So what is the issue??

Could be the fact that you are quite likely to gain a bit of weight on the injection. Actually, matter of fact, the food you eat as a result of the extra hormones in your body making you feel permanently premenstrual and just wanting to eat fish and chips, and burger king, and drink copious amounts of rum and coke, and eat chicken fillet burgers and chips the next day with chocolate milk, and pizza and glasses of chardonnay. Just something I heard happens, not saying that I know or anything!!

So THE INJECTION is the reason I have put on 1.2kg this fucken week putting me back into the fucken triple figures and officially making me want to lie on the floor crying and crapping my pants.

Boo fucken hoo.

17 comments:

Lyn said...

Awww chickey :( That is the exact reason I came off the pill 13yrs ago and never been back on them since.

Hopefully things will settle down soon ... that being either the hormones or the eager stick tryin to get a dip

Lynda said...

Oh, the problems we women have? I never really had such problems as the pill worked a treat for me (while I was young enough to be allowed to take it). I'm sure this will work out OK - its only a temporary thing and then you will get "fixed". Poor Jules...

rand(om) bites said...

You know what I'm gonna say - you still have the choice of what goes in your mouth. Don't let it become an excuse to eat crap *ducks for cover*. Love you hon and I hope your body settles with the depo! x

Chris H said...

I have to agree with rand(om).... so hit me!

Marie said...

Honestly...gain 1.2kg or found out your pregnant????? I go put i 1.2kg LOL atleast you can lose the weight! good luck for next week :D

Kitty said...

Oh lovey! That is a bugger, but 1.2kg is worth not having another baby. You will be ok, I'm sure your hormones etc etc will settle down babes. xxx

Christy_Ann said...

Gah! 1.2kg - that sucks the big one!

JessiferSeabs said...

This is why I'm a big fan of Nuvaring... you only hae to think about it twice a month -- the day you put it in, and the day you take it out (three weeks later). and I LOST 5 lbs when I went on it.

Steph said...

Stuff that. Make him wear a raincoat.

If it's not on, it's not on ;)

Mae said...

Have you considered an IUI? They aren't hormonal, are highly effective (I don't know a soul who got pregnant on an IUI, though I'm sure there's a few out there, but I know several who have Depo babies - not to scare you, it's rare!) and won't make you gain weight!

Hormones suck, don't they? I'm taking progesterone right now because I want a baby desperately and I have to induce my period so I can take Clomid to stim my ovaries... and there you are suffering because you're the Queen of Fertile and trying to pass the crown! Pass it this way, could ya?

Don't beat yourself up too much over it. You will adjust, and then you'll be able to get that weight lost. When I started the Pill, I was a cow for a month... but then I got used to it, and I was able to lose weight and function without crying. LOL.

crankybee said...

I'm with Mary and Chris - suck it up bitch, such is the price you pay for still wanting to root the man you've been with for years and have had 4 kids to!

(Now you know the above was designed to make you laugh, yeah? :P)

Tania said...

The things we girls have to put up with! 1.2kgs sucks, but just keep focussing on how sensational you're going to look in that wedding dress and you'll be back in double digits before you know it.

Mellisa said...

I hate ANYTHING jabbed in my arse!! lol .....

Mellisa said...

**still laughing!!**

airlie said...

yeah - i am on the implamon eating cycle too - but like you said - better than dodging bullets

Wanna_B_slim said...

Awwww I came in to give you my weigh in results and it looks like blogger ate mine last week....
Just as well coz I was just coming in to check and see if I was doing it right... this challenge was to see who get the biggest butt crack at the end wasnt it....
I started last Monday at 75kg neat..,. blobbed onto the scales this morning at 76.4!!!!! WTF!!!
I managed to lard up 1.4kg over the weekend alone....
I got down to 74.4 thru the week.. and now 76.4.. thats a 2 kilos fkn gain!!!
Do I win??? hahahahaha

Jadey 0:-) said...

I used to be on this. I loved it but got over having an injection every 3 months (why on earth did they not shove it in your arm?)

Now I have Implanon. Once every 3 years. But Im quite scared about the whole removal process.