Friday, February 16, 2007

Too Much Information......

As the title reads, this is going to be too much information for a lot of you so deal with it or don't read on from this point ...

I am in a hell of a state at the moment. My "bits" are all heading south. My rectum has prolapsed into my va-jay-jay and I think my bladder is doing the same. When I pass bowel movements they get stuck as the wall has fallen into my other cavity and therefore, gravity is not having the desired effect. This has affected my sex life, which consists of condoms as Blair has not yet had the bloody snip, condoms which I seem to be ALLERGIC too.

I don't have medical insurance because I got rid of it a year and a half ago when I missed 3 payments and they wanted me to have a medical report done to reinstate it. I flagged it as the liver problems, high blood pressure and enlarged spleen were going to make our premiums massive. I figured I had spent nearly 9K on my previous three years medical/life insurance and had one $150 claim for a specialist visit and that I would go it alone.

Now I am looking at a long wait on the public list or forking out $3.5K in private fees and this doesn't include any hospital stay. And my worry is that my sex life will be stuffed from this point on.

Do you know anyone who has had a full pelvic floor repair?? If so, how was it afterwards?? HELP ME.

On the other side of the coin we have my mental health which appears to be in overdrive. I have a BBQ to go to tomorrow night where a whole group of old mates will be there drinking. I have Mum looking after the three girls and Ben is off to Kaikoura with Blair's Mum. This is my chance, I haven't been out for a drink in a year. Last time I did we got pregnant. But, some old friends that I had a fall out with 5 years ago are going to be there and this fact has sent me into a spin. I spent 2 hours yesterday trying on different casual clothes. I look fucken gross at the moment, am in desparate need of a cut and colour and my brain is screaming at me to find some reason not to go. But I really have to. Two of our mates from the States are over and they are only stopping for one night in Christchurch and we haven't seen them since their wedding two years ago!!! The thing is, I get like this every time I go out and it all has to do with my social anxiety. I am over tired already and it is not helping matters. Have not been to bed earlier than midnight all week. And tonight my youngest brother and his girlfriend are having their family going away dinner at our place and they are staying here along with my sister, her husband and two kids and my other brother. No chance of an early night there. Then tomorrow we have to see my youngest brother off at the airport in early afternoon and then are supposed to be off to the BBQ. Then an old school friend of Peta's is having her birthday party right at the same time that Tom leaves and I have told Peta that she is just going to have to miss out this time as we have already made other commitments and she is shitty with me. I need sleep and I need a makeover and some self confidence and a fucken large bottle of rum please!!


Chris H said...

Pelvic floor repair: yep a dear friend of mine had that done a couple of years ago, she felt yuk for a short while, then fantastic! No more problems at all, and while they were "down there" they gave her a new fanny too, nice and tight again (too much info ?). Her husband enjoyed the changes. lol
Social situations: I used to make excuses to not go out too, mostly cos I felt fat and ugly. You just had a baby for christ's sake, no one is going to expect you to turn up looking like fuckn Elle McPherson! Wear something that feels comfortable, and stuff how you look, I know it's easier said than done, but you DO WANT TO GO eh?
As for seeing the people you fell out with years ago, smile and pretend it didn't happen? It is water under the bridge eh?
I hope you go and have a fantastic time, and chin up, everyone hates their body, even the thin ones!

Kate said...

My MIL has had a couple of repairs - and seemed to recover quite well after the latest one (approx 1 yr ago).
You can't keep on being so uncomfortable! Poor you, ouch.

Did I comment and say the photos of Sian are gorgeous? I can't remember. I can't see any of the text on your blog, but it comes up in my RSS reader so I can still read what you write. There's just a big yellow link on your black page saying "Post a Comment". Hehe.

Hope your weekend goes well.

Emily said...

Hugs to you hun, that sounds - well, it sounds arse!! Hope everything gets sorted out for you, and soon!

Sian is just lovely, she is too gorgeous! Where are your other lovely babies, we haven't seen pics of them for a while :-)

Hope your social engagements go well this weekend, just remember that they want to see you, not SEE you!

Rachel said...

Well its Monday and I'm dying to hear how your weekend went, especially the BBQ.

Or are you still sleeping after all those visitors...........zzzz.